Assistant Pen and Mr. X

Subject: Assistant Pen and Mr. X Sun Dec 28, 2014 4:20 pm

max
pen pen penny penpen

Aspen Smith. A curious girl with an uncommon name and a common surname. I met her only once in my life, in person, but I can tell you she's a character. If you'd just glance at her, here's what you'd see: dark skin, though it managed to look sickly bleached; sparkly eyes, green in colour, wise in shine; smile, light, never fully sincere. If you'd known her more personally, you'd know that all those are relevant to her personality. And if you'd talk with her, you'd have to struggle to hear her quietly uttered words, as she never talks loudly. She also never swears.

You'd suppose, by what I told you about Aspen, that she is a timid person, that she fears her own shadow, that she avoids company as much as she can. No, far from that.

Aspen is kind, sometimes overly kind to strangers. She talks a lot to acquaintances, but she opens up to her friends. She loves children, though she wouldn’t want her own. She help people even if it harms her. She kisses strangers’ temples as a goodbye. Nice person, but she says she gets too attached. She’s scared of committing to anything or anyone. She is an eagle whose wings are clipped.

Now, if Aspen was an eagle, Max Culver was a fox. About him I can tell you much more, but I bet you already know him. He is the soul of each party, and, considering his nonexistent alcohol tolerance, his beer buzz and dizziness are ‘adorkable’ to his many friends and even more people who can recognize his name. But there’s a life he has outside of muted lights of beer induced dance.

He has two brothers and a sister, all younger, and because of his parents who work abroad, Max works in a nearby arts and crafts store to be able to afford his parties and also to buy chocolate for his siblings (and partially himself also) every day when he comes home from work.

Max is a split personality, but he’s too loveable, I can say. He is obsessed with redecorating the apartment where he lives with his siblings, and he paints one wall over and over every week. The paint on that wall is at least two inches thicker than on the others.

He likes to make fun of others, but most of all, himself. He often pretends.

Now that I introduced you to our characters, their story can begin.

Aspen and Max; a story of love, laughs, healing, fights, texts, and, mostly, curiosity.

Subject: Re: Assistant Pen and Mr. X Mon Dec 29, 2014 6:57 pm

[Wed 14:32] Nico, where’s the tequila? Can’t find it, Lou wants it before the party.

[Wed 14:37] I’m not Nico and I certainly don’t know where your tequila is. Sorry.

[Wed 14:39] Oops, sorry. Wrong number. Wherever you are, have a good day!

-

[Thu 09:26] Funny that you mentioned tequila, just when I met a man who nearly drank too much of it. Meaning he nearly died.

[Thu 09:43] I thought this was a wrong number.

[Thu 09:45] I’m bored, no contact numbers. Amuse me.

[Thu 09:50] I have a huge hangover, can’t even see the keyboard.

[Thu 09:52] Shame on you, young (wo)man! Drinking on a school night is bad for your teeth.

[Thu 09:56] I don’t go to school during summer.

[Thu 09:57] Work night.

[Thu 09:59] I work the graveyard shift.

[Thu 10:07] So far, text friend, I know that you are a drinker and that you work nights. Tell me your name and I’ll tell you mine.

[Thu 10:09] To keep my mysterious mysteriousness, I shall be known as Mr. X.

-

[Thu 11:32] I shall be known as Pen. Nice to meet you, Xanadu the dragon.

[Thu 11:40] Just X. Why the long time between the texts? Did you forget how to type?

[Thu 11:41] People needed me to assist.

[Thu 11:43] Assist them I have a no-phone policy during meals. Goodbye, assistant Pen!

[Thu 11:44] Farewell, Just X!

-

[Thu 15:36] X. Or Mr. X.

-

[Fri 00:06] Stars are pretty from my window. How are stars there where you are?

[Fri 00:51] Can’t see them. I’m inside. No windows.

[Fri 00:55] I can’t find any constellations. Scattered stars, much like children, require assistance of something bigger to

[Fri 00:58] gather them in constellations. Can you name any constellations?

[Fri 01:10] Are you high?

[Fri 01:12] Sleep deprived, not higgggggg

[Fri 01:13] Are you ok?

[Fri 01:20] Hello?

-

[Sat 12:38] Thanks for ignoring me? Now I know you’re dead.

-

[Sat 19:50] RIP Assistant Pen.

-

[Sun 09:03] Lonely on a Sunday. How sad, eh?

-

[Sun 20:16] But not as sad as being left by a text pal.

-

[Sun 21:43] I’m listening to Jessie J and singing into a paintbrush microphone.

-

[Sun 23:30] We just wanna make the wooorld dance, don’t care about the priiiice tag!

-

[Mon 15:33] I leave you for one weekend and you go full Jessie J.

[Mon 15:39] I thought you died!!!!

[Mon 15:41] So I read.

[Mon 15:42] What happened to Mr./Ms. Pen?

[Mon 15:46] Phone, no cash, mother brought a reconfig program, now phone doesn’t cut texts and is generally faster. It’s Ms., by the way.

[Mon 15:49] You went through all that trouble for me? Flattered.

[Mon 15:51] You are, let me guess a fifty year old paedo.

[Mon 15:52] Not even close.

-

[Mon 18:03] Nobody under thirty drinks tequila, Nico may be your friend and Lou… Partner?

[Mon 18:14] Both friends, I am 21. Cheers. Why the break?

[Mon 18:16] Personal life, Mr. X. Ever had one of those?

[Mon 18:17] Ha ha.

[Mon 18:18] Glad to be of amusement.

-

[Mon 19:23] Idea. Answer me these questions and I’ll answer yours: Why tequila? Who put a no-phone policy? Why Jessie J?

[Mon 20:10] Lou likes tequila. I did. Because.

[Mon 20:15] My turn. Why assist so much? Why do old people drink tequila? Why no contact numbers? I’ll give you an extra answer: I lied. I don’t work the graveyard shift. I went to a party.

[Mon 20:20] Because. My mum drinks tequila. Because no friends. Interesting answers.

[Mon 20:22] Ditto. Good night, Ms. Pen.

[Mon 20:23] Good party, Mr. X.

[Mon 20:24] How did you know?

[Mon 20:25] Guessed. I’m tired, good niiight.

[Mon 20:21] The night is young! Let’s paint the town red!

[Mon 20:28] No.

[Mon 20:28] Yes.

[Mon 20:29] No.

[Mon 20:31] Okay, okay. You win. I don’t want to fight with someone who is female and tired.

[Mon 20:32] Thanks.

-

[Mon 23:46] Yes.

***

I have a bit of time, so I’ll tell you what happens in a day in life of Aspen Smith.

[06:30-07:00] Wakes up, has breakfast.

[07:00-10:00] Free time, which she spends playing with her roommates, talking to nurses.

[10:10-11:20] First checkup of the day. Pills, needles, questions.

[11:20-12:00] Free time.

[12:00-14:00] Family visit on weekends, free time on workdays.

[14:00-15:00] Lunch.

[15:00-16:00] Free time.

[16:00-18:00] Second checkup of the day.

[18:00-18:30] Free time.

[18:30-19:10] Spends time in a coffee shop below the hospital, drinks lemonade, talks to customers.

[19:10-06:30] Free time, sleep.

Our dear Aspen, as you might have found out, resides in a hospital. She’s been there for thirteen years, and knows nothing else. Parents? They visit her weekly. Siblings? None. Of what illness is she in the hospital? Is it terminal? Those are the questions for later. Until then, I’ll discover that, on Aspen’s medicine and night stand, is an old copy of Old Man and the Sea.

Subject: Re: Assistant Pen and Mr. X Mon Dec 29, 2014 9:21 pm

[Tue 08:03] Good morning, party boy.

[Tue 07:09] Don’t text. Hangover. Head went ow.

[Tue 07:14] I’m laughing. Thanks for brightening up my day.

[Tue 07:18] More ow.

-

[Tue 11:24] What is with today’s youth and the need to drink all the bars in town dry? Are these new young adults evolved to need air, food, water, sleep, Wi-Fi and alcohol?

[Tue 11:36] You’re really doing this thing? You’re really talking to a stranger.

[Tue 11:37] I find it odd, that’s all.

[Tue 11:40] I talk to the stranger because stranger talks back.

[Tue 11:44] Sh. Lunchtime. No phones.

[Tue 11:46] It’s hardly lunch, not even noon yet.

[Tue 11:47] Brunch.

[Tue 11:52] I don’t believe in the concept of brunch. It’s either a late, drunk’s breakfast, cough, cough, or a businessman’s lunch. And you’re not a businessman, X.

[Tue 11:53] Tl;dr: you’re condescending. With love, Pen.

-

[Wed 18:48] Tell me about yourself, X. Why X? Does X have a name? Parents? Siblings? Girlfriend? Pets? Job?

[Wed 18:51] I like how there’s a girlfriend in the middle of it all. Subtle.

[Wed 18:52] Answer my questions.

[Wed 18:59] Even the girlfriend one? Okay. X has a name and you don’t need to know it. X had three younger siblings. X is single. X doesn’t have pets. X has a job and does NOT work the graveyard shift.

[Wed 19:03] Thanks. I still want to know your name.

[Wed 19:04] If you tell me something about yourself…

[Wed 19:05] Ah, but you see, I’m a mysterious persona.

-

[Wed 23:43] Okay. Here you go. I adore descriptions, more than I should. Describe anything to me, and I’m done. It’s ridiculous how head over heels I get for descriptions. But doesn’t need to be professional, just a description in their own words, or just talking about something. And honesty.

[Thu 00:01] Max.

-

[Thu 10:23] So you’re still Pen for me? RUDE.

[Thu 10:30] Pen Pen Penny Pen Pen.

[Thu 10:46] You need a better nickname. Tell me something you like.

[Thu 11:14] Hellooo? I’m not hitting on you, if that’s what you’re thinking.

[Thu 11:22] I like blackberries. And ladybugs.

[Thu 11:24] Glad you’re not dead. Lunch.

[Thu 11:26] Eat your (surely delicious) ‘lunch’. I’ll tell you why I like ladybugs.

[Thu 11:41] There’s this girl I knew, 7, 8, 9 years old. She was really sick, really. It was horrible, she was constantly medicated and had to give blood once per hour, and I felt really sorry for her. I invited her to my bed one night, mainly because it was my birthday and I was lonely, and she had scars over her hands, horrible, I tell you. Text you. Whatever. I asked her if she was scared of needles, and she said she wasn’t, because she likes the ladybugs under her skin and that way, the doctors free them. Ladybugs. Blood. Needless (no pun intended) to say, I was touched.

[Thu 11:58] That’s... wow.

[Thu 11:59] So ladybugs.

[Thu 12:04] That’s too sad, that won’t be your nickname.

[Thu 12:07] I deserve an answer for that story. Max, short for Maxwell or Maximillian?

[Thu 12:08] Maxwell.

[Thu 12:10] Excuse me for saying, but that’s adorable.

[Thu 12:12] It’s old styled, aka boring.

[Thu 12:13] Think of it as vintage.

[Thu 12:13] Thanks.

-

[Thu 19:34] Favourite TV show? I’m watching Untouchable at the moment. I wish I had this girl’s hair.

[Thu 19:41] Nope. You asked me for my full name. My time for questions. Either your first name or your last.

[Thu 19:44] You can call me Miss Smith.

[Thu 19:47] Oh, come on. Smith is the most common surname in the world.

[Thu 19:48] Buzzer noise.

[Thu 19:50] Lee is the most common surname because roughly one bill people are Chinese and Lee or Li is the most common surname there. Every fourth person is a Lee/Li.

[Thu 19:53] Oh, wow, how did you know all that?

[Thu 19:55] Google is my friend.

[Thu 19:56] Of course. How old are you again?

[Thu 19:58] 19. Relevance?

[Thu 19:59] Curiosity.

[Thu 19:59] It killed a cat.

-

[Fri 02:03] Do you see the stars, X?

[Fri 02:15] I woke up at 2 am to open a window for my unnamed text pal. Yes, I see the stars. What now?

[Fri 02:17] Describe me the stars.

***

I told you about Aspen’s routine, let’s talk about Max’s. Details on Aspen – I don’t have time for that right now. I promise them later on the story.

Unlike Aspen, Max’s routine isn’t a strict xx:xx-xx:xx list. He wakes up anywhere from six to eleven, depends on his mobile phone text alert. His phone never leaves his hands, from the morning until he goes to sleep. First, he goes to open the show at eleven thirty. He eats breakfast either on the road or during his work time, often from a small, but cozy coffee and cake shop nearby his store. He works for seven hours, until 6 pm. He returns home and helps his siblings with his homework. With the youngest ones, twins, Abigail and Damien, he has no troubles, but with Cyrus, who is 16, he can’t help so much.

After that’s done, he makes them dinner. What’s interesting, is that ‘no phone policy’ doesn’t even exist in the Culver family. Max invented it for the purpose of showing, as he can’t walk, eat and text at the same time. After 8 pm, he either stays at home or goes to parties.

That’s all I have time for today, but I’ll catch up with you later!

Subject: Re: Assistant Pen and Mr. X Mon Dec 29, 2014 9:43 pm

[Fri 02:18] Erm. The stars? Alright…

[Fri 02:26] They have a dull shine, like someone put them in muted glass lanterns. I like to think that there are billions and billions of stars, which we don’t see because they’re too far. Billions and billions of muted glass lanterns. Every part of the sky is filled with them and they always shine, even during day. Oh, who am I kidding, stars are always there.

[Fri 02:39] …Pen?

[Fri 02:46] Good night, Pen.

-

[Sat 11:34] You know what I thought when I was a kid? That the sunscreen which isn’t used up in the sun, which didn’t evaporate, stays on your skin until it does.

[Sat 11:36] 1) You don’t text me for a day then 2) you text me that thing? What inspired you to do that?

[Sat 11:40] 1) YOU didn’t text ME and 2) I’m on the beach.

[Sat 11:41] !!!

[Sat 11:42] I haven’t been in ages!

[Sat 11:44] Now that I got you to describe me the stars, I’m hoping for a description of the sea, also.

[Sat 11:45] 1 description, 1 answer/story. I don’t work for free, Miss Smith.

[Sat 11:56] When I was three, I found my grandma’s pills and I shoved them up my nose. You can imagine my parents’ faces when I showed up at the door with two pills coming out of my nose yelling ‘Candy tic-tac monster!!’.

[Sat 11:57] That’s art.

[Sat 11:58] Description, Max.

[Sat 12:13] The sea has silver foam every time a bigger wave forms, and that’s often. The sea is restless today, it hits the rocks I’m sitting on every minute, at least. My siblings are throwing little rocks into the sea. Do you think the sea feels the rocks? Feels the fish and the shells and everything that lives in it? And does it feels people in it? DOES IT LIKE US??

[Sat 12:15] Deep, deep.

[Sat 12:16] Like the sea.

[Sat 12:16] Get out.

[Sat 12:17] I am out.

[Sat 12:18] Of the closet?

[Sat 12:19] Of the house.

[Sat 12:20] Punny much?

[Sat 12:21] Penny much?

[Sat 12:22] That makes absolutely no sense.

[Sat 12:24] Thank you.

[Sat 12:25] Why are you at the beach but not in the sea? Are you on your period, Max?

[Sat 12:26] I hope that’s playful making fun of me.

[Sat 12:28] That’s for me to know… (C’mon, don’t fail me now, I have hope in you)

[Sat 12:29] And for you to find out?

[Sat 12:30] Precisely.

[Sat 12:32] I should find out, then.

[Sat 12:33] Good luck.

[Sat 12:34] Thanks.

-

[Sat 18:08] Don’t you just hate siblings?

[Sat 18:11] No, don’t have any, want them.

[Sat 18:13] No you don’t. I have three, and they’re a huge pain in the you-know-what.

[Sat 18:15] Three? Your time to tell me a story.

[Sat 18:17] You answer me this: do you prefer Pen or Penny?

[Sat 18:20] Pen, Penny is a coin.

[Sat 18:21] Oh. Shame.

[Sat 18:22] C’mon. Siblings.

[Sat 18:28] Three of them, as I said. Two younger, Abbie and Damie, they’re 14, and they’re twins. Blonde, like me, like the entire family actually, except Cyrus, that is. Cyrus is a bitch, to tell you the truth. He’s 16.

[Sat 18:30] Just fact no emotions. Do you love your siblings?

[Sat 18:33] I have to. They’re my blood, after all.

[Sat 18:35] You don’t have to.

[Sat 18:36] But I have to feed them.

[Sat 18:39] Oh, yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask, why does the ‘no phone’ policy only apply to the so called brunch you have around 11, 12 o’clock?

[Sat 18:41] Because.

[Sat 18:43] Wow, an exhausting and vast description.

[Sat 18:45] Yes, because I am exhausting and vast.

[Sat 18:46] Reread your last text.

[Sat 18:48] Oh my God, that’s, Jesus, I didn’t mean it like that.

[Sat 18:53] I can’t stop laughing.

-

[Sun 09:37] Merry Sunday!

[Sun 09:40] And may all your Sundays always be merry!

[Sun 09:43] I just realised something, and I mean it in the way which is the most not creepy.

[Sun 09:44] I’m not even really sure if that’s grammatically correct.

[Sun 09:45] I want to meet you.

***

Aspen was born with a genetical mutation which slows down her legs. The doctors are not quite sure what’s wrong with her completely, so they keep her under watch in case it gets worse or better. She gets around with crutches and with a help of a nurse, but, no, it’s not terminal. Other diseases she might get because of her weak immune system might be. She resides in the children department, because she helps the nurses with the young ones. Best patient there, don’t you think? That’s how she found out the ladybug story, kids like her.

Sometimes, she envies all those people outside who get to have a normal life without all the doctors gathering around her like a flock of birds, but then she things, hey, I get to have what they don’t. Children who find trust in her. It’s inspiring and enlightening at the same time. She still hopes that one day she’ll get out of the hospital and get to live both of the lives.

Subject: Re: Assistant Pen and Mr. X Mon Dec 29, 2014 9:56 pm

[Sun 09:50] Whoa, there, cowboy. I’m still not fully convinced you won’t kill me in an alleyway with an electric saw.

[Sun 09:53] How am I not sure you won’t do the exact same thing, hm?

[Sun 09:54] Because I’m an honourable citizen.

[Sun 09:55] Funny.

[Sun 09:56] Thanks.

-

[Sun 18:03] I still think we should meet.

[Sun 18:04] Why?

[Sun 18:06] Cuz.

[Sun 18:08] Grammatically incorrect incompetent answer that took you only two minutes to write.

[Sun 18:10] Wow, big vocab.

[Sun 18:11] I try. Also, Google is my friend. Helps that I’m residing above a café. Free Wi-Fi.

[Sun 18:12] Why don’t we meet in that café?

[Sun 18:14] How do you know we live in the same town?

[Sun 18:15] I’m just taking the Tube home, meaning I live in London.

[Sun 18:16] Rats. So do I.

[Sun 18:16] Still, London is a big city and I don’t plan on travelling anywhere.

[Sun 18:16] Pleeease? I’ll buy you coffee.

[Sun 18:19] Tempting, but no.

[Sun 18:20] Wait, no, I have an idea, I just have to type it out, wait.

[Sun 18:21] Alright.

[Sun 18:33] This Wednesday, because that’s the day of the missing tequila, we’ll go to the café, I’ll give you the address later, and we’ll be there somewhere between 18 and 19 hundred. We won’t tell each other how we look, and we won’t go asking around saying ‘hey, are you my text pal?’. After 20 we will tell our… deductions to each other.

[Sun 18:34] I think I got it.

[Sun 18:36] Deal?

[Sun 18:37] Deal.

-

[Sun 20:43] What, you don’t talk to me until Wednesday, then?

[Sun 20:46] I’m tired, won’t you let me sleep?

[Sun 20:46] No.

[Sun 20:48] I’ll ignore you.

[Sun 20:49] Okay. Do what you wish.

[Sun 20:57] Why is it always me who sends texts with no reply?

[Sun 20:59] Does that make me sound desperate?

[Sun 21:13] I think that makes me sound desperate.

[Sun 21:28] Would you Google ‘signs that you’re desperate’ for me? Because you know, free Wi-Fi.

[Sun 21:41] Hey, psst, are you asleep?

[Sun 21:42] No.

[Sun 21:44] She’s alive!

[Sun 21:46] Never said I wasn’t.

[Sun 21:48] Are you waiting for me to start drunk blabbering?

[Sun 21:51] Maybe. Put that tequila down, young man!

[Sun 21:53] Whiskey in a jaaar…

[Sun 21:55] Oh, so it’s whiskey now. You drunk.

[Sun 21:57] Grab a beer so we can celebrate this Sunday together!

[Sun 21:59] That’s not going to happen any time soon.

[Sun 22:03] Ah, you youngling.

[Sun 22:05] And there’s no alcohol probably in a mile radius.

[Sun 22:06] You’re above a café.

[Sun 22:07] But it’s not like I can get to it now is it?

[Sun 22:10] Strict parents?

[Sun 22:13] You could put it that way.

[Sun 22:16] My parents are strict too. When they visit, I have to hide my alcohol.

[Sun 22:18] I thought you lived with your family.

[Sun 22:21] Nah, with my siblings. Parents work in France, I think.

[Sun 22:23] That’s cool. I bet you get a lot of baguettes.

[Sun 22:24] Not funny this time.

[Sun 22:26] It’s not like I don’t try. I have to go now. Stop drinking alcohol, you’ll get a headache. Good night, Professor X.

[Sun 22:28] That was funny. X Men assemble!

[Sun 22:36] Success.

-

[Mon 11:46] 3 more days. Did you already pick what are you going to wear? Because I did.

[Mon 11:57] Loser. I’m going to wear what I always wear.

[Mon 11:59] Who’s a loser now?

[Mon 12:01] Are you really going to count the days?

[Mon 12:03] Probably. I’m excited, you know?

[Mon 12:05] Excited? Because you’re going to be in the same café with me?

[Mon 12:07] Yes. And because I get to guess who you are without you being mad.

[Mon 12:07] Who says I won’t get mad?

[Mon 12:08] Uh oh.

[Mon 12:10] I can’t text anymore, I’ll see you tomorrow?

[Mon 12:11] TEXT you. We’ll see each other on Wednesday.

-

[Tue 19:03] Aand I’m back!

[Tue 19:04] I thought you were just kidding me about not talking to me.

[Tue 19:09] Ah, sorry, I can’t type, sorry. Too big of a challenge, too slow. No, I’m not drunk.

[Tue 19:10] You will be missed.

***

Max is a schooled artist. That’s what he tells others instead of saying he draws a lot for people for cash. Even though he works in the arts and crafts shop, he also paints murals.

First, it was for his friends: Nico, who wanted the Jack Daniels logo as a headboard for his beg; Lou, who demanded Bob Marley, and with those, other people who saw them, wanted murals in their houses, so Max obliged. It wasn’t like he didn’t enjoy it, but it was still work, and for a lazy person like him, he will find every excuse to complain.

And yes, he’s a horrible worker in the arts and crafts store, but both customers and the boss don’t mind it, since it was hard to find a worker his age who actually showed up at work during the summer, most of them spent their holidays partying and ending up at someone else’s bed at the other side of the city. Max couldn’t, because of his siblings. Though he’d be on time at his work anyway; his moral levels aren’t that low.

Now that I told you the basics about Aspen and Max, expect something different next time!

Subject: Re: Assistant Pen and Mr. X Mon Dec 29, 2014 10:09 pm

[Wed 20:43] I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.

[Wed 20:44] You didn’t come, did you.

[Wed 20:45] Let me explain, please.

[Wed 20:46] Okay.

[Wed 20:50] I wasn’t scared or anything, I couldn’t. Let’s say my parents didn’t let me out of the house. I promise I will convince them next time.

[Wed 20:53] Who says there will be a next time?

[Wed 20:59] I’m kidding!

[Wed 21:03] ?

[Wed 21:06] It’s okay, I couldn’t be there too. Brother had an accident on his bike, we’re at the hospital now.

[Wed 21:09] That’s such a relief, you have no idea! Not your brother, of course. How’s he?

[Wed 21:12] Oh, he’s fine. He’s in a lot of trouble, but he will survive.

[Wed 21:14] Just out of curiosity, are you in that hospital above the café?

[Wed 21:16] Yeah, it’s the closest one. Siblings are asking me who am I texting. I told them a friend. Are you my friend, 19 year old female Pen?

[Wed 21:19] I think so.

[Wed 21:21] You think?

[Wed 21:23] Friends most often met each other in real life.

[Wed 21:25] What do you say you become my friend next Wednesday?

[Wed 21:27] At the same time, same place?

[Wed 21:30] I’d say so, yeah.

[Wed 21:31] Alright then.

[Wed 21:31] Friend.

[Wed 21:32] Friend.

[Wed 21:33] Good night. Friend.

[Wed 21:35] Sleep tight, also friend.

[Wed 21:37] You’re going to friend me forever, aren’t you.

[Wed 21:39] Maybe.

[Wed 21:40] Friend.

-

[Thu 06:57] Thursdays are sad.

[Thu 07:00] They’re just prologues to something better, bigger, in this case, a Friday.

[Thu 07:03] And everybody loves Fridays.

[Thu 07:06] Fridays are the cool kids of the week.

[Thu 07:21] What.

[Thu 07:22] I bantered a bit, sorry.

[Thu 07:25] Why do you wake up so early?

[Thu 07:29] You’re awake too.

[Thu 07:32] Only because you woke me.

[Thu 07:35] And how do you say for having a personal alarm clock?

[Thu 07:37] Screw you and your twisted body rhythm.

[Thu 07:39] Do you want me to not text you?

[Thu 07:40] NO.

[Thu 07:41] DO NOT LEAVE.

[Thu 07:42] MY CAPS KEY BROKE, HELP.

[Thu 07:42] Why is this so hilarious?

[Thu 07:45] DON’T LAUGH AT MY PAIN.

[Thu 07:47] Not laughing.

[Thu 07:48] Actually, yes I am.

-

[Thu 15:13] You haven’t described me anything for a while. Did you fix your CAPS?

[Thu 15:17] Abs fixed it. Funny how a 14 year old is smarter than I am. And what can I describe? The hospital?

[Thu 15:20] Fair point. No, don’t describe hospitals, hospitals I know far too well.

[Thu 15:25] Cyrus just came from his operation and he’s still under the influence of drugs. He saw me texting and asked ‘but is she hot?’. I’m obliged to ask.

[Thu 15:27] Is that a very lame version of flirting? You’ve got to try harder.

[Thu 15:29] Did it hurt?

[Thu 15:31] No, why? What hurt?

[Thu 15:32] When you fell from the sky.

[Thu 15:34] I didn’t fall from the sky.

[Thu 15:37] Oh, I get it, it’s because I’m angel, right?

[Thu 15:40] Because, quite frankly, you look like shit.

[Thu 15:41] My roommates are laughing at that more than I am. Smooth, Max.

[Thu 15:42] You’ve been hit by, you’ve been struck by a smooth criminal.

-

[Thu 18:24] To answer your question; I’m VERY hot.

[Thu 18:27] Oh, is that so?

[Thu 18:30] Yes, I’m burning up to 40 degrees right now. I picked up a virus.

[Thu 18:32] I can’t breathe.

[Thu 18:35] Please breathe.

[Thu 18:41] Cyrus and Damian already love you. What do you say you meet them after we befriend each other on Wednesday?

[Thu 18:43] Tell them I’d be honoured.

[Thu 18:47] I did, and the still-drugged Cyrus proposed to you.

[Thu 18:50] How old is he again? I am not laughing my head off.

[Thu 18:53] He’s 16, I think it’s still illegal.

[Thu 18:55] How dare you, standing in the way of our love.

[Thu 18:59] Is it strange or do I hear laughter.

[Thu 19:01] It’s very strange. Get help.

***

“How are you feeling, doll?” Eric, medical student, asked Aspen. She smiled at him and pushed herself up, so she could talk to him properly.

“Better, better. It’s not like I’m going to walk for the next month or so, but if it means I’m out of this hospital…” She smiled again.

“Aw, was I not a good companion throughout all these years?” Eric made a hopelessly dramatic gesture, at which Aspen couldn’t help but laugh.

“Shut up, I’d rather be out of the hospital then to be in it, with all its perks”, she giggled. Her phone buzzed in a text alert, at which Eric raised his eyebrows suspiciously.

“Who you texting?” he peeked to her phone “Is he hot?”

“I’ve heard this question so many times this week… Do you have to be so stereotypically gay all the time?” Aspen nudged him away, giggling still.

“The stereotypes exist for a reason, doll… Plus, if it makes you feel any better, my boyfriend hates musicals”, Eric said and went back to checking her files.

-

Since I introduced you to the characters. I’ll give you glimpses of their lives, so, enjoy!

Subject: Re: Assistant Pen and Mr. X Mon Dec 29, 2014 10:24 pm

[Fri 18:21] Sorry I’ve been ignoring you, I don’t feel well at all.
[Fri 18:23] No problem. I feel like shit myself.
[Fri 18:25] Do you know any other swears except that one? It’s getting monotone.
[Fri 18:28] I know a lot of swears, but I don’t think most of them are appropriate for a female.
[Fri 18:30] Oh no you didn’t. Don’t let my feminist side slay you.
[Fri 18:32] You’re feminist?
[Fri 18:35] Hm, I think that with all our differences, there has to be respect to all females all shapes, sizes and everything else. And we’re equal, if not above, men. Suck on that.
[Fri 18:38] Preach. Hail Pen Smith.
[Fri 18:40] Why do you think Pen’s my name? It could be a code of sorts.
[Fri 18:41] Is Pen your name?
[Fri 18:42] A part of it?
[Fri 18:42] Penelope?
[Fri 18:43] Nope.
[Fri 18:44] Shit.
-
[Fri 20:58] I’m too drunk to function.
[Fri 21:01] How are you typing so perfectly then?
[Fri 21:13] I take care in what I write.
[Fri 21:15] 12 minutes for 7 words. Fascinating.
[Fri 21:20] Do you know how to mke Mojitos?
[Fri 21:22] Shorter time, one mistake. No, I’ve no idea how to make Mojitos.
[Fri 21:31] It’s easy, I’ve had like 3
[Fri 21:34] Like 3 or 3 3?
[Fri 21:36] 3 3
[Fri 21:40] Go to sleep, Max.
[Fri 21:44] I’m not Max I’m prof. X.
[Fri 21:46] Maxwell.
[Fri 21:49] Ah paradox. You mustn’t call me my real name.
[Fri 21:52] I fail to see how it’s a paradox.
[Fri 22:15] Good night, X.
-
[Sat 03:01] Is it possible to fall in love with an idea of a person?
[Sat 03:05] I’m asking for a friend.
[Sat 03:07] Can you want to meet someone so desperately even if it may be wrong?
[Sat 03:11] This is my 5^th Mojito, I think I’m going to pass out or at least have a heart attack.
[Sat 03:15] And I’m probably losing my mind.
[Sat 03:21] My friend. My friend’s losing his mind.
[Sat 03:28] Coz there’s always the possibility that this girl doesn’t even exist.
[Sat 03:30] Hence she’s an idea.
[Sat 03:36] If she doesn’t exist, my friend will be crushed.
[Sat 03:41] My friend’s even changed his habits for her.
[Sat 03:48] She’s an invisible companion, she’s a muse. When my friend paints, he thinks of her. And he’s never even met her.
[Sat 03:56] Maybe she’s an idea of a person. But she’s an Idea with a capital I. And she’s a damn good idea.
-
[Sat 11:38] I have no memory of last night, I’m too afraid to read the texts and I drank at least two litres of cocktails. Please don’t read those texts.
[Sat 11:43] Too late.
[Sat 11:45] Uh oh.
[Sat 11:46] Just ignore them, please.
[Sat 11:48] I can try, but it has a lot of gems.
[Sat 11:50] ‘Your friend is losing his mind’, yes.
[Sat 11:52] You can quote it? Oh no oh no…
[Sat 11:55] Yes, of course. And with all that, I have my comment.
[Sat 11:56] No, please don’t.
[Sat 11:59] I’m sorry I’m an idea. I’m sorry, I really am. And I’ll probably stay an idea, because I don’t allow myself to like people. This sounds awful, but it’s not you, you’re great, but me.
[Sat 12:01] I don’t know how to respond.
[Sat 12:03] Then don’t.
-
[Sat 19:58] But don’t ignore me, Max.
-
[Sat 20:45] I’m up all night to get lucky. It’s a song. I know you see these texts. Max. Reply.
-
[Sat 22:23] Get drunk and talk to me.
[Sat 22:25] I don’t want to be alone.
[Sat 22:30] I think we shouldn’t talk or text until after Wednesday.
[Sat 22:31] I’m sorry.
[Sat 22:35] X, don’t do this.
[Sat 22:41] Don’t make this into a drama movie, because it isn’t. Until Wednesday.
[Sat 22:43] Stay here.
[Sat 22:45] I’m here, but I won’t text.
[Sat 22:52] Okay, that’s so heartless of you just to ignore me. So you’ll read the texts, but not reply? That’s such a douchebag move.
[Sat 22:59] Silence starts now, then?
-
[Sun 19:03] Yes, I’ll show up, but don’t expect me to give out sneaky clues. I’ll be as sneaky as Johnny English.
-
[Sun 21:21] C’mon, that was funny.
-
[Mon 20:13] Nothing?
-
[Tue 11:45] I miss you.
-
[Tue 18:23] I’m not making this into a drama movie. You are.
-
[Wed 12:00] It’s Wednesday, is your unwritten rule broken yet?

***

“Hey, Max, but when are you going to meet this girl?” Abbie, braiding her long hair, asked.
“Doesn’t matter. She said it loud and clear; she’s not into me”, Max stared blankly at his phone, which buzzed less these days. They were in Cyrus’ hospital room, but he was asleep, and Damie was out getting coffee.
“She technically didn’t say anything. For all you know, she could be mute”, Abbie suggested.
“Oh, shut up, Abs, you can’t say things like that”, Max glared at her.
“Yes, I can, look, I just did.”
“Where do I look?”
“It’s a figure of speech”, Abbie wasn’t impressed. “Where’s Dame with my hot chocolate?”
“Screw your hot chocolate, I need my caffeine”, Max groaned, but Damie got in right on cue; carrying two cups one hand and one cup and a wallet in his other hand.
“Ei, Max, I saw your friend, Eric, did you know he works here?”

Subject: Re: Assistant Pen and Mr. X Mon Dec 29, 2014 10:35 pm

[Wed 20:31] I was there.

[Wed 20:34] Me too.

[Wed 20:36] Do you want to guess first or shall I?

[Wed 20:37] I’ll do it.

[Wed 20:45] There were four girls which were your age range, because you basically gave me nothing else. The first one was blonde, had hipster glasses and was reading a book by John Green with uncracked spine. I’m sorry if that’s you, but I’d never talk to a girl who’s like that.

[Wed 20:51] The second one was a black girl with the frizziest hair I’ve ever seen in my life. You could hide a small cat in it. She was in a wheelchair and was typing into her laptop. I don’t think it’s you, but she seemed nice.

[Wed 20:56] Then there was this girl who I think is Pen. She had red hair, braided, and she was both texting and writing (sketching?) in her vintage style notebook. She ordered green tea.

[Wed 21:01] And there was this brunette, I think she was Chinese? – Asian, and she was talking rapidly into her phone. I didn’t understand most of it, she was too fast, but she had a gig with her band, I think.

[Wed 21:02] Are you one of these?

[Wed 21:04] Yes.

[Wed 21:05] Now I’m curious which one.

[Wed 21:07] I’m not telling. My turn.

[Wed 21:16] Choice one: blond drinking a sex on the beach cocktail, choice two: a mousy blond jamming to the music on his headphones, choice three: platinum blond who looked impatient and kept looking at the door. And, choice four, which is not actually a choice, a blond who held hands with a cute Latino guy and they kept laughing and holding hands and yeah.

[Wed 21:17] I say you’re choice three.

[Wed 21:18] Any mistakes?

[Wed 21:20] No, I saw all these people, and I’m one of them.

[Wed 21:22] Choice three?

[Wed 21:23] Not telling.

[Wed 21:24] Well, you’re definitely not the cute Latino, he had black hair.

[Wed 21:24] I’m touched you remember my hair colour.

[Wed 21:27] And Cyrus doesn’t have blond hair, as I recall.

[Wed 21:30] Nope.

[Wed 21:32] Nope, he doesn’t not have blonde hair, or, nope, he doesn’t have blonde hair?

[Wed 21:33] The latter.

[Wed 21:34] Wow, don’t be so talkative.

[Wed 21:39] Hello, X?

[Wed 21:47] Sorry, I went to get me some wine.

[Wed 21:51] Oh, no, not this again. I’m going to bed. Good night, professor!

-

[Wed 23:21] It’s wonderful how wine enhances your senses. Like beer, but unlike it. Beer slows you down. Wine enlightens you.

[Wed 23:29] I want to kiss you after I drank you wine. I want to look at your lips for words. Any word. Random words. Say Ayers Rock. Say Orange. I never actually heard you talk. Are you an alto? Soprano?

[Wed 23:31] What does your laughter sound like? Giggly or chuckly?

[Wed 23:33] Can you call me?

[Wed 23:41] Not when you’re drunk as a truck driver.

[Wed 23:46] What do you have against truck drivers?

[Wed 23:50] Nothing. My mum’s a truck driver and she drinks tequila. Not at the same time, of course.

[Wed 23:51] I get it now, why you thought I was 50. Because I mentioned tequila.

[Wed 23:53] Yeah, that too. I’m tired, leave me alone, I want to sleep.

[Wed 23:54] I’m not touching you.

[Wed 23:58] I would love to touch your hair though. Is it brunette? Is it red? Is it blonde? Don’t secret yourself away from me.

[Thu 00:03] I miss you but I never actually had you.

[Thu 00:06] Not in the dirty way.

[Thu 00:11] Never in the dirty way. It’s today’s media and their damned implications of sex everywhere you look.

[Thu 00:18] I want to not feel this way.

[Thu 00:20] It’s like I’m looking in a two-way mirror. I can’t see you but you’re still there, judging my every action.

[Thu 00:24] I won’t look at my reflection anymore. I’m going to take a goddamned fire axe and smash the glass.

[Thu 00:26] You’ve always been so damned nice.

[Thu 00:29] I’d get drunk and talk nonsense and all you asked for was a story. Just a story.

[Thu 00:33] I want to tell you all the stories I know if that will make you return.

-

[Thu 06:04] Pen, call me whenever you wish. Just call me. I want to hear your voice.

***

[Incoming call]

-… Hello, X.

- So you aren’t a soprano.

-… Seriously?

- Seriously what?

- Your first words to me are ‘so you’re not a soprano’? After tonight, I expected it to be a vanilla love confession, or at least a proposal.

- Don’t flatter yourself, Pen. My first words to you were ‘Nico, where’s my tequila’ or something among those lines.

- Oh, silly me. Of course. Nico and his tequila. How could I forget?

- Technically, it was Lou’s tequila.

- Yeah, yeah, alright. Pft.

- What’s so funny?

- It’s six am and I’m talking to my blond text pal about whom I know almost nothing, and, yet, we’re here.

- Yep, we’re here.

- …

- … What’s that? Are you crying now? Oh my God, don’t cry, shit, shit, don’t cry, did I make you cry, how did I make you cry??

- I just… You live in your little world and you have your friends and your siblings and even though we’re on the same planet, same country, same town, same WORLD, even though we occupy the same space, breathe the same air, and even though we’re made out of the same stardust, we couldn’t be more different. It’s as if we’re living in different dimensions. And I have such a huge crush on you and I’m afraid to admit it even to myself, but I know that my crush should stay secret because, I can’t – you can’t – WE can’t… It’s-it’s nothing about you, no, I’m repeating myself, but you’re perfect, but I’m… I’m half person. You deserve a whole person. I don’t deserve you.

-…

-I’m, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t trust myself with speech, I rather text so I can filter myself. Me speaking is like you under alcohol.

-…

[Call ended]

-

[Thu 06:31] I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said those things. Ignore them like I ignore your cocktails.

Subject: Re: Assistant Pen and Mr. X Mon Dec 29, 2014 10:41 pm

[Fri 18:34] Cyrus is feeling better, so Abs, Damie and I ditched him. We’re currently hiking through a forest and mosquitoes are killing me. I’m surprised I have signal on my phone. Am I good at ignoring?

[Fri 18:37] No, because you didn’t text me since yesterday at 6 am.

[Fri 18:41] Needy baby, greedy baby.

[Fri 18:43] Oh, shut up.

[Fri 18:48] You like blackberries, right?

[Fri 18:52] I mentioned that weeks ago, wow.

[Fri 18:56] There are tons of them here. Abs is all blue from eating them.

[Fri 18:58] Ahh, now I want blackberries.

[Fri 18:59] Hike with us.

[Fri 19:02] If I could, I would. Describe how it would feel if I was there with you.

[Fri 19:17] You’d probably fall a lot, I’ve fallen three times, Damie four and Abs about twenty, because there are plenty of rocks here, and I’d help you up, you’d inhale all the scents of the forest, and you’d admire the plants and you’d steal blackberries from Abbie, and you’d say ‘I’m so glad that I’m here so Max doesn’t have to tell me how it feels through his shitty descriptions’.

[Fri 19:23] My heart just melted.

[Fri 19:26] You’ve got a condition, then.

[Fri 19:29] No, seriously, that was too sweet.

[Fri 19:31] Check for cavities.

-

[Sat 11:58] It’s on days like this when you just crave coffee.

[Sat 11:59] Get some.

[Sat 12:02] But the coffee shop under the hospital is so expensive…

[Sat 12:04] You with Cyrus?

[Sat 12:05] Try again.

[Sat 12:07] You’RE with Cyrus?

[Sat 12:08] Correct.

[Sat 12:09] How’s he?

[Sat 12:13] Good, he’s good, it helps that one of the doctors, well, studying-to-be-doctors, is a friend of mine, so he has a lot of embarrassing stories to tell.

[Sat 12:14] He must be feeling brilliant.

[Sat 12:17] Everyone taking care of him? He’s on top of the world.

-

[Sat 18:31] Hello.

[Sat 18:32] Why are you so formal?

[Sat 18:34] I need to talk to you.

[Sat 18:36] Why, are you breaking up with me? Ha, joking.

[Sat 18:37] No, I… Call me, okay?

***

[Incoming call]

- What’s the hurry, Max?

- I talked to my friend doctor.

- Okay… Did he tell you anything interesting?

- Remotely.

- …

- … I don’t think you’re a half person. I think YOU’RE perfect. And I think I have a crush on you too, agh, I’ll give MYSELF cavities, but you know what, I don’t care. I think I’ve done a pretty good job hiding the crush, eh? With drinking and all… Anyway, it’s not like I crush on you because you’re pretty or hot or cute, I never actually SAW you, but I like you as a person and I think you have an adorable personality and I like the way you tease me and correct my grammar and I like your quirks and I like you.

- … This is exactly why we shouldn’t talk on phone, we have outbursts. Please don’t make this so TV show drama-ish. Don’t… Don’t say that you like me, don’t say that… You don’t know me, Mac. You don’t even know my name.

- Aspen Elizabeth Smith.

- … um…

- You’re Aspen Smith. You’re nineteen. You were born in August the 15^th. You’ve been in the hospital, in THIS VERY HOSPITAL WE’RE BOTH IN RIGHT NOW, for 13 years, in the same room, 2B3, because of a particular genetical anomaly focused on your legs. You’re going to go home soon, in two weeks’ time, because of a successful operation. You’re Aspen. You’re the girl with frizzy hair.

- …

- … Do you know where the room 2B3 is?

- No.

- Screw it Max!

- What? Don’t yell at me!

- I’m trying to be romantic here! Get up and go to my room and serenade me and you know everything about me and the only thing I know about you is that you’re not the cute Latino.

- Is that an invitation?

- Are you stupid? YES!!

[Call ended]

Subject: Re: Assistant Pen and Mr. X Mon Dec 29, 2014 10:46 pm

Max paced the hospital. He knew bringing Nico would trick her. And he knew that Eric knew who Pen Smith was, Eric knows everybody. But what surprised him was that she was in this hospital, right now. And she was so close, he was literally in the same building with her for, what, a week? He probably saw her walking around the halls but he didn’t notice her, since he was counting on a redhead. Wait, he wouldn’t see her walking. She’d be in a wheelchair. Max felt like she kept putting herself down because of her illness, that she doesn’t see the beautiful person beneath it all.

He couldn’t believe this was happening. It was exhilarating.

He reached the reception (was it called that?) and peeked at the person behind it.

“Excuse me, do you know where’s’ the room 2B3?” he asked, his own voice sounding breathy to him.

“That’s the permanent section, dear. You can visit your friend every work day from 12 to 14 hundred o’clock”, the woman behind the desk chewed a gum and looked positively bored.

“No, you don’t understand, Pen – Aspen, she wants to see me, right now.”

He couldn’t believe it. Is this lady going to stop him? He could easily knock her out if he wanted to.

“Well, she can want to see you every work day from 12 to 14 hundred o’clock.” It all crumbled to pieces. Max felt weak.

No, no, no, he wanted to see her, he wanted to see her so badly… He felt like he was a child and someone had taken his lollipop.

“Max! What are you doing here?” Max’s stomach sunk to his feet. Eric. “I thought you’d be with Aspen, staring at her because ‘that’s not the way you imagined her’ et cetera et cetera-“ Max abruptly grabbed Eric’s shoulder, so suddenly that he stopped walking.

“Oh my God, you don’t know how glad am I to see you. This- this creature”, Max pointed at the receptionist lady, who stretched the gum between her teeth, “she wouldn’t let me get to her, I-“

“Should’ve known. Ei, Jeanie?” Eric called and the lady raised her head. “Max is with me, okay? You can let him get to 2B3 anytime he wishes, deal?”

“Okay, Eric”, the lady rolled her eyes and Max grabbed Eric’s shoulder tighter.

“Thank you, thank you, I could kiss you right now!”

“Save your kisses for Aspen. Go, go, power rangers, go!” Eric pushed him in the direction of Aspen’s room. And there it was. 2B3. Aspen’s home for more than a decade. He knocked.

“Jesus Christ, come in already!” he heard a frustrated voice.

“Seriously?” Max couldn’t resist. He didn’t open the door just yet.

“Seriously what?”

“Your first to me are ‘Jesus Christ, come in already’? I expected it to be a love confession, maybe a proposal.” He heard an adorable giggle from the inside.

“Cute. You remember my words.”

“I remember almost everything about you.”

Suddenly he didn’t want to come in. What if she didn’t like him? What if he just doesn’t feel like that towards her anymore? What if he was in love with an Idea, rather than the real Aspen?

“Are you going to come in or not?” her voice was small, weak now. Max pushed the door open.

Frizzy hair, big green eyes, her features stood out on the white, sterile hospital wall. They stood in silence, staring at each other, drinking it all in. Well, Max stood, Aspen sat on her bed, not even three metres away.

“Hello, X.”

“Hi, Pen.”

And all the emotions he had felt during the weeks of texting her rushed through Max. All the drunk nights, all the stories, the teasing, the descriptions, the SIGNS… and also, the sadness when she left him alone.

Eric told him why. She went on an operation and got rid of her illness, once and for all.

She was healthy, happy, smart, quirky, witty… and absolutely gorgeous.

“Why are you staring at me? I knew you were a 50 year old paedo after all, except you’re not 50 years old, you’re just a paedo-“ she stopped once Max sprinted towards her and hugged her.

“Thank you, thank you for everything.” His voice was warm in her ear. She hugged him back the best she could.

“So, no marriage proposal?”

Subject: Re: Assistant Pen and Mr. X Mon Dec 29, 2014 10:50 pm

EPILOGUE

[Sat 08:49] I love lazy Saturday mornings. I love your insane hair. I love the curve of your neck. I love the fact that I see your phone on the nightstand, on your side of the bed. I love the fact that you sleep in my old t-shirts. I love these ridiculous penguin pajama bottoms you’re wearing (I’m going to burn that damn thing soon, it’s awful, I hate them). I love that I smell Abbie and Damian burning pancakes. I love that I should probably check if they set the kitchen on fire, bit instead, I’m texting you because I know you’ll wake up when you hear your text alert. And I will love your face when you read this text. And I will love your smile. And I will love the way you’ll show me off of the bed to help the twins. And I will love the way you’ll make the bed (and shove me off it when I don’t move). And I will love you. And I love you.